The Sunday after Thanksgiving was a much quieter day at my parents house. I spent the day running some errands and hanging out at my parent house with Sofia.
I had a lot on my mind, so it was nice to have some time to myself and my thoughts.
That evening I got a call in for a last minute job happening that week, so I jumped on the opportunity to make some money. My mom was able to watch Sofie, and my commute wasn’t even too bad, so I was pretty set.
I had an early call time the next morning so I headed to bed early with Sofie and caught up on my z’s.
I woke up that Black Friday morning with more of a black heart (a little dramatic, I know).
After a long, not very restful night, mostly spent thinking about my life and future, I woke up feeling resolved that I would do what I could to right the situation and get back together with Jason. I knew it’s what we both wanted as parents, to raise Sofia together, but I also knew that sometimes even wanting something just isn’t enough.
Despite those thoughts, I felt motivated to try harder at my relationship, if it could be repaired.
I reached out to Jason that evening after a day of planning and thinking; I proposed two options, getting back together and working on our relationship, or staying separated and working out an agreement for Sofie’s care.
All I could think about was this little girl, and how much she just wants her parents to be happy and together, and I wanted so badly for that to work.
Thanksgiving Thursday was a bit of a turning point for me.
Now, I’m not really one to get serious and talk candidly about my personal affairs beyond the typical surface type stuff, but sometimes life throws a curve ball at you and you need to own up and face reality.
As depressing as that may sound, sometimes it’s really what you need.
It’s true that all relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes as hard as you want things to be magical and happy all the time, life just doesn’t work that way.
Things have never been perfect in my relationship, things don’t always work out the way I plan, mistakes are made, and bad things are said.
This past Thanksgiving became somewhat of a culmination of all the trials and tribulations my relationship with my boyfriend had endured, and it did not end well…
As emotional and distraught as I was from the fighting, and as much as I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry, I had to keep it together for Sofie. And as much as I didn’t want to leave, I knew it would be the best thing to do given the current situation.
I packed my bags full of clothes, and gathered all of my necessities to survive away from home. I didn’t know when I would be back, if ever, and that scared me.
Then there was poor Sofie, she had no idea what was even happening.
What was supposed to be a happy day full of seeing family became a day where hers fell apart.
I made my way to my parents house, feeling completely defeated. I don’t think I ever felt so depressed, my relationship was over, as far as I could see, and at that point I had no courage to face up to reality.
It was a pretty subdued Thanksgiving at my parents, to say the least, but we did our best to put aside the negative aspects of the day and enjoy our evening.
Needless to say, both Sofia and I were pretty exhausted.
I turned in early, and thus commenced a few very long days of soul-searching…