Wednesday, I woke up feeling as if a cloud had lifted from over me. I was refreshed and felt good about life again.
Now that Jason and I had recommitted, I was more determined than ever to make our family work.
I drove out that morning to day 3 of my commercial job and left Jason to meet my mom at the ferry to pick up our daughter.
I spent another day doing makeup and styling, this time, a bit out in the middle of nowhere by beautiful Lake Tapps. Luckily we were inside again for interviews, so I got to stay out of the cold and wet weather.
After another long work day, I couldn’t wait to get home and see Sofie and Jason to spend time together as a family unit. Spending time apart for nearly a whole week was draining on everybody andI think we all were just happy to be with each other.
Sofia seemed to be pretty happy both her parents were with her as well.
The morning was much less hectic since I didn’t have to go through Seattle to get my kit.
I was able to “sleep in” a tad, before heading out again for work.
It was another good productive day, doing makeup on “real people” is far less stressful than you’d think…
We even ended up finishing a bit early, and also finally heard back from Jason, so I headed up to Seattle to talk with him and disperse all of the clouds still hanging over my head.
Jason acknowledge the fact that I had reached out to him so sincerely, and agreed to give our relationship one last shot. I knew it was not going to be an easy road, but I was glad that I had another chance to make things right.
We ended up talking late into the evening and grabbed some dinner at a Japanese restauarant close to our house; although my parents weren’t too happy with my decision to stay in Seattle, Sofie stayed with them for the night, and we made arrangements to pick her up in the morning.
It had been such a rollercoaster of a week and I was just glad to be off the ride; everything felt right again and our family was back together.
That’s all that mattered to me.
It’s time to get serious and get these posts done!
That Monday after Thanksgiving was my first day on the job for the commercial I got called in to do the night before.
The day started out quite eventful.
After waking at about 5 in the morning to be able to catch a ferry in time to get to Seattle and pick up my makeup kit in the studio, I rushed out with breakfast in hand, (forgetting my coffee in the garage), and went to the ferry. Underestimating the amount of commuters that would be on the ferry at 7 in the morning, I missed my first ferry and kicked myself thinking I would be late for my first day on the job.
Luckily, the producer e-mailed me just in time, saying that they pushed my call back another half hour, and I was saved!
I caught the next ferry and rushed over to my studio to pick up my makeup kit. Then, the next roadblock came. My access code to the front door was not working! I tried frustratedly for about 5 minutes to put my code in to no avail, eventually some other people going into work that morning rescued me and let me in.
After running upstairs and grabbing my kit I threw my things in the truck and headed on the road. Finally, smooth sailing! I hit a bit of traffic, but got to set that morning with moments to spare.
The rest of the day was relatively easy and fun, but boy, what an eventful morning I had… By the end of it all, I was just glad to be driving home to see my Sofie baby!
Thanks to my mom for grabbing a picture of her that day. Looks like she was enjoying her magazines as usual.
The Sunday after Thanksgiving was a much quieter day at my parents house. I spent the day running some errands and hanging out at my parent house with Sofia.
I had a lot on my mind, so it was nice to have some time to myself and my thoughts.
That evening I got a call in for a last minute job happening that week, so I jumped on the opportunity to make some money. My mom was able to watch Sofie, and my commute wasn’t even too bad, so I was pretty set.
I had an early call time the next morning so I headed to bed early with Sofie and caught up on my z’s.
Saturday after black-Friday, was another day spent at my parents house.
After reaching out to my bestest friend, Katie, about my current situation, she came up to visit me for the day so we could vent and talk.
We’re not necessarily best friends in the traditional sense of the word, we don’t talk every day, we hardly ever see each other, but we both love each other dearly and would do anything for each other. I’ve known her since I was 10 years old,( now more than half my life!), and we have been best friends ever since, and probably will be for a long, long time. We grew up together, through all our adolescent trials and tribulations and now into adulthood. We have both become very different people, but still remain close, whenever we see each other it’s like we never were apart.
With all the emotions I had been feeling for the past day and a half, it was nice to know she was there for me, and to be able to talk to her.
So, Katie and I made our way out to some old stomping grounds, she did some shopping, I did some talking, and we both ate some food. We spoke a lot about my future and what would become of it. My parents were already making arrangements for me to stay with them, and I felt like I was being pulled into a new direction for my life. I wasn’t ready to let go, but I knew that at some point I would have to make plans for a potential life as a single mom.
Later that evening, Katie and I went out to a reunion party of sorts. One of our old friends from high school had time off from his deployment and was visiting from over seas; he was throwing a little get-together and I felt it might be just what I needed to get my mind off of all those depressing thoughts and see some familiar old faces.
I will admit, it felt kind of strange being back in my old town, with old friends; I felt like I was back in high school again, only everybody had grown up a bit. At the same time, it was like nothing ever changed.
We spent a couple hours catching up and talking, but knowing I had a little girl waiting at home for me, I left early with Katie and headed back to my parents house. I will say, with all the good company, paired with some drinks, I did sleep much better that night.
I woke up that Black Friday morning with more of a black heart (a little dramatic, I know).
After a long, not very restful night, mostly spent thinking about my life and future, I woke up feeling resolved that I would do what I could to right the situation and get back together with Jason. I knew it’s what we both wanted as parents, to raise Sofia together, but I also knew that sometimes even wanting something just isn’t enough.
Despite those thoughts, I felt motivated to try harder at my relationship, if it could be repaired.
I reached out to Jason that evening after a day of planning and thinking; I proposed two options, getting back together and working on our relationship, or staying separated and working out an agreement for Sofie’s care.
All I could think about was this little girl, and how much she just wants her parents to be happy and together, and I wanted so badly for that to work.
Thanksgiving Thursday was a bit of a turning point for me.
Now, I’m not really one to get serious and talk candidly about my personal affairs beyond the typical surface type stuff, but sometimes life throws a curve ball at you and you need to own up and face reality.
As depressing as that may sound, sometimes it’s really what you need.
It’s true that all relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes as hard as you want things to be magical and happy all the time, life just doesn’t work that way.
Things have never been perfect in my relationship, things don’t always work out the way I plan, mistakes are made, and bad things are said.
This past Thanksgiving became somewhat of a culmination of all the trials and tribulations my relationship with my boyfriend had endured, and it did not end well…
As emotional and distraught as I was from the fighting, and as much as I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry, I had to keep it together for Sofie. And as much as I didn’t want to leave, I knew it would be the best thing to do given the current situation.
I packed my bags full of clothes, and gathered all of my necessities to survive away from home. I didn’t know when I would be back, if ever, and that scared me.
Then there was poor Sofie, she had no idea what was even happening.
What was supposed to be a happy day full of seeing family became a day where hers fell apart.
I made my way to my parents house, feeling completely defeated. I don’t think I ever felt so depressed, my relationship was over, as far as I could see, and at that point I had no courage to face up to reality.
It was a pretty subdued Thanksgiving at my parents, to say the least, but we did our best to put aside the negative aspects of the day and enjoy our evening.
Needless to say, both Sofia and I were pretty exhausted.
I turned in early, and thus commenced a few very long days of soul-searching…
I made some headway yesterday, so that’s great! Now it’s time to do some more work before I decide that I need sleep.
That Wednesday was one of the few days I didn’t have some kind of work gig going on, but we had a bunch of work to do around the building so I spent the day at home in my scrubs tinkering around. I finally got Sofie to nap later in the afternoon so I took that opportunity to give the building a good clean, swept and mopped all the floors and vacuumed the landings. It’s actually pretty hard work keeping a building nice and clean!
I was definitely glad I didn’t decide to shower that morning cause it would have reversed any work I had done.
That night Jason went out to his sister’s birthday party, I was scrubby and didn’t have enough time to get ready so I stayed home with Sofie. Wish I could have made it to the party, but sometimes you just need a quiet night in…
Alrighty! I think this will be my last post of the night, but I feel like I made a pretty good dent in the “catch-up” pile.
Tuesday, Sofie was dropped off at her grandma’s house before I drove up North to have a quick meeting with another artist that I will be collaborating with soon on my next “Beauty” venture. I spent a few hours chatting with her and tossing around ideas, before heading back down again to get Sofie.
The new project is still a while away from being launched, but I’m very excited about it, to say the least!
In the mean time, I really need to get organized… now if I didn’t need to sleep…